I don’t want to be sick. It’s not so much lately that I don’t just want to be “sick”, I don’t want the million and one things that come along with being sick.
I’m sick of having to watch what I eat–gluten, sugar, eggs, red meat, dairy, alcohol, syrups/dressings, DESSERTS-all the desserts. I’m sick of having to take horse-sized pills and supplements three times a day that make me gag. I’m sick of being tired all day long, no matter how much coffee I drink. I’m sick of being foggy-headed from the pain-I used to think so logically and clearly. I’m sick of spending $$$.$$ on medications a month that only seem to treat the symptoms of crps and give me OTHER symptoms. I’m sick of doctor’s appointments one, two, three times a week; blood draws too. I’m sick of being literally too tired to keep my eyes open, of naps. I’m sick of telling people “I’m fine” when I am stopping myself from screaming from the pain.
I want to be normal, to be healthy. I don’t want every day to be such a damn struggle.